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Self-esteem, Perception and Values of who we are !

  • Writer: letincellecurieuse
    letincellecurieuse
  • Apr 30
  • 7 min read

Updated: May 7

Loving yourself means accepting and appreciating your personality and appearance, without conforming to the expectations of others and society.
This form of self-love is essential for our mental and emotional well-being, as it allows us to live in harmony with ourselves. When we accept ourselves as we are, we develop stronger self-confidence, which can help us overcome life's challenges with greater resilience and serenity.
However, the path to self-love can be fraught with challenges, as it often involves confronting and deconstructing limiting beliefs that we have internalized, which may require deep introspective work, sometimes accompanied by professionals such as psychologists or professional and/or personal life coaches. Daily practices such as meditation, journaling, or even physical exercise can help strengthen our sense of self-esteem. It is important to remember that this process is unique to each person and that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to learn to love yourself.
Finally, loving yourself as you are also means recognizing that you are constantly evolving. This doesn't mean you should stop striving for betterment, but it does mean you should learn to appreciate yourself at every stage of your journey. By cultivating compassion and kindness toward yourself, you can create a solid foundation on which to build a fulfilling and authentic life.
Loving yourself means embracing your imperfections and celebrating your strengths, while remaining open to opportunities for growth and transformation.

Importance of self-esteem


Self-esteem, a perception of one's own worth, is a more holistic view of oneself and is essential for a fulfilling life and strong, lasting mental well-being. It differs from self-confidence, which relates to the belief in one's abilities to perform specific actions.
Building strong self-esteem begins with identifying and eliminating limiting beliefs that hinder personal growth, thus restricting our vision of ourselves. This is why self-compassion is fundamental, as it encourages a kind attitude towards oneself, learning to accept one's mistakes and imperfections without judgment.

Self-esteem, which represents the perception of one's own worth, is a more holistic view of oneself and is essential for a fulfilling life and strong, lasting mental well-being. It is distinct from self-confidence, which concerns the belief in one's abilities to carry out specific actions .

Building strong self-esteem begins with identifying and eliminating limiting beliefs that hinder personal growth, thus restricting our vision of ourselves. This is why self-compassion is fundamental, as it encourages a kind attitude towards oneself, learning to accept one's mistakes and imperfections without judgment. In fact, this involves constantly questioning our negative thought patterns and adopting a more positive and realistic perspective on our abilities and intrinsic value, which is why self-compassion plays a crucial role in this process :

_ Encourages a kind attitude towards oneself ;

_ Approach enabling the development of emotional resilience in the face of failures and criticism, thus promoting healthy personal growth.

Furthermore, balanced self-esteem promotes:

  • Improved decision-making and assertiveness.

  • Strengthening the ability to cope with stress and adversity.

  • Promotes healthier and more satisfying interpersonal relationships.

  • Stimulates motivation and perseverance in the pursuit of one's goals.

  • Increases overall feelings of happiness and satisfaction with life.

  • Cultivating this positive self-esteem helps lay the foundations for a fulfilling life, better mental health, more rewarding relationships and greater realization of one's personal potential.


Having strong self-esteem has many positive impacts on mental health.

High self-esteem acts as a shield against various emotional disorders... and helps reduce the risks of developing anxiety; depressive states; psychological exhaustion..., also allows for better stress management.

Regarding stress management :

People with high self-esteem are better equipped to cope with stressful situations. They also perceive challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles, fostering greater resilience.

Developing healthy relationships :

Positive self-esteem allows for more authentic, respectful, and caring interpersonal relationships. This allows for better social and emotional balance, which contributes to improved well-being.

Good self-esteem is therefore associated with high life satisfaction, a feeling of harmony with oneself, a better ability to accept one's successes as well as one's failures, and a strengthening of adaptation capacities.


In short, cultivating positive self-esteem appears to be a fundamental element for maintaining and improving one's mental health in the long term.


Know how to say NO, surround yourself with positivity


Saying no is a crucial step and an act of self-affirmation to strengthen one's self-esteem, it means respecting one's own needs and limits, preserving one's energy. At the same time, surrounding oneself with positive and caring people plays a major role in developing self-esteem. Practicing mindfulness and self-acceptance allows one to detach oneself from the gaze of others and to accept oneself unconditionally, thus promoting a more balanced self-image . Cultivating an attitude of self-acceptance and self-praise is essential for self-esteem.

Therefore, saying no assertively makes it easier to establish healthy boundaries in relationships, reduce stress and emotional exhaustion, increase the feeling of control over one's life, and therefore better self-respect...

Practicing mindfulness and self-acceptance allows you to detach yourself from the gaze of others and accept yourself unconditionally, thus promoting a more balanced self-image. This approach involves:

  • Non-judgmental observation of one's thoughts and emotions

  • Recognizing one's strengths and weaknesses

  • Adopting a compassionate attitude towards oneself

Self-acceptance and self-praise include :

  • Celebrating your successes, even the smallest ones

  • Regular practice of self-compassion

  • Identifying and challenging automatic negative thoughts

  • Setting realistic goals and recognizing progress

Incorporating these different strategies—knowing how to say no, surrounding yourself with positivity, practicing mindfulness, and cultivating self-acceptance—creates an environment conducive to developing and maintaining strong, lasting self-esteem.


" To love oneself is to accept and appreciate one's personality and appearance, without conforming to the expectations of others and society. "

Celebration and transformation


Celebrating small daily victories is a simple yet powerful practice for building self-esteem. This process of self-empowerment encourages a sense of progress and competence. For lasting transformation, changing habits also plays a key role. Incorporating positive affirmations and visualization practices helps nurture self-esteem on a daily basis, strengthening self-image, and creating a mindset geared toward personal growth. To maximize this impact, you can, for example :

_ Keep a journal of daily successes

_ Share your successes with caring loved ones

_ Create personal celebration rituals

Likewise, changing habits has an essential utility :

  1. Identify habits that undermine self-esteem

  2. which involves gradually replacing them with positive behaviors

  3. Cultivate patience and perseverance in this process of change

Integrating positive affirmation and visualization practices, guided meditation focused on self-compassion and self-acceptance help to nourish self-esteem in daily life,

Additionally, to amplify this transformation :

  • Adopt a holistic approach by integrating physical wellness practices (exercise, balanced diet, adequate sleep, etc.) that naturally support better self-esteem.

  • Engage in activities that you are passionate about and allow you to express your talents, thus enhancing your sense of self-worth.

  • Set realistic and progressive goals, allowing for regular victories that fuel your confidence.

  • Practice gratitude towards yourself and your journey, acknowledging each step of your personal growth.

By combining these celebration and transformation strategies, you create an internal and external environment conducive to continuous and sustainable improvement in your self-esteem. This holistic approach not only promotes a better sense of self, but also a more fulfilling life aligned with your core values.


Little ways to preserve your self-esteem


Be careful, however, not to fall back into the same old ways because relapses are inevitable and can affect self-esteem, but learning to overcome them without judging yourself helps keep it stable and maintain a positive attitude. Setting SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound) is an effective way to establish positive habits over the long term, providing benchmarks and a sense of accomplishment. Finally, testimonials and inspiring stories of people who have improved their self-esteem offer motivating perspectives and show that positive change is possible for everyone.

Here are some strategies for effectively managing relapses :


  • Practicing Self-Compassion in Case of Failure

  • See setbacks as learning opportunities

  • Maintain a long-term perspective on personal development

This approach allows us to :

  1. Clarify your aspirations and make them concrete

  2. Measure your progress objectively

  3. Maintaining motivation through regular success

  4. Adjust your goals according to your progress

To enhance the effectiveness of this method:

  • Break down your big goals into smaller, manageable steps

  • Celebrate every milestone you reach, even the smallest ones.

  • Review your goals regularly to ensure they remain relevant

These stories can:

  • Provide practical and proven strategies

  • Inspire and motivate by showing that change is possible

  • Provide a sense of community and support

To get the most out of these inspiring stories:

  • Look for testimonials from people you can relate to

  • Extract key lessons and adapt them to your personal situation

  • Share your own journey to inspire others in turn

In addition, here are some other small methods to preserve your self-esteem on a daily basis:

  • Practice gratitude towards yourself every day

  • Limit exposure to social media which can promote negative comparison

  • Maintain a positive and encouraging internal dialogue

  • Surround yourself with a caring support network (when possible…)

  • Take care of your physical health through a balanced diet and regular exercise

By integrating these different methods into your daily life, you create an environment conducive to maintaining and continuously strengthening your self-esteem, thus promoting lasting personal development.


To set SMART goals to build self-esteem, follow these steps :

Set specific goals

Identify specific areas related to self-esteem that you want to improve, for example :

  • Developing self-confidence in social situations

  • Improve body image

  • Strengthening assertiveness at work

Make goals measurable

Determine concrete indicators to assess your progress :


  • Number of times you speak in meetings

  • Frequency of positive thoughts about your appearance

  • Ability to express your needs and opinions

Set achievable and realistic goals

Choose goals that push you out of your comfort zone while still remaining achievable :

  • Participate in a public speaking workshop every X weeks

  • Practice positive affirmations every morning and evening

  • Read one personal development book per month for X months.

Define a time frame

Set a clear deadline for each goal :


  • “ I will improve my interpersonal communication skills to strengthen my professional and personal relationships in X months. ”

  • “ For the next X months, I commit to participating in public speaking activities, etc.… ”

Example of a SMART goal for self-esteem

" I will improve my self-confidence so that I can wear feminine outfits in all circumstances. I estimate my current confidence at 3/10. My goal is to reach 7/10 in 3 months. To achieve this, I will set myself a clothing challenge every Thursday and wear a red dress to the next quarterly board meeting. "

By following this SMART approach, you create a concrete and motivating action plan to strengthen your self-esteem in a progressive and sustainable way.


* Person responsible for introducing speakers and making other official announcements at a major event.


Take good care of yourself !


The Curious Spark


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